friends.

I went to lunch today with my friend Kamille and it made me realize how much I miss all my friends! Kamille just got married about a month ago and this was the first time I got to see or talk to her and it is so sad to me that we have to wait weeks to see our friends who mean so much to us. Kamille has been there through thick and thin for me. When Alex and I had broken up a year and a half ago, Kamille was the one who was there for me. She is the one who kept me going, she got me out of bed, she hung out with me every night to get things off my mind, and she had put me first when I needed her most. I owe her a lot but I seem to never be able to give back to her what she gave me. Hopefully, one day I will be able to give her what she gave me.

When I was in high school I had a group of girls that we hung out every night and every weekend but as soon as high school was over, we all went our separate ways. Some of them I haven't seen in a year, some I see maybe 3 times a year, and some I don't even talk to unless something drastic happens like getting married or having a baby. It is sad to me that someone you were best friends with and someone that you relied on every day is just a text or a phone call away but yet we don't connect the way we use to. Sometimes, I think, I should call them to hang out or I should set up a dinner so we can go hang out but do you ever feel like if they wanted to see you or talk to you, then they would try to put in some effort too? That is how I feel. Maybe that is a little selfish and that is why I hardly have any best friends but why is it that I am the only one who contacts them about lunch or dinner? I know most of them are married and I am about the only one who isn't but I am still just as busy as they are with their lives. I work full time, I have a boy to take care of every night, I have family that needs attention, and yet, I'm the only one that seems to have time. Also, maybe they don't think they have anything in common with me now that they are married? I dunno. 

I don't mean to complain but I miss my friends. I want to be one of those girls that go to dinner with their friends once a week and their children are my children's best friends and we can all get together on a Friday or Saturday and just have fun. Maybe I have to be married to do that? I dunno, but hopefully one day I can have just as many best friends as I use too. I remember my mom and family telling me when I was in high school that you wont be friends with them in a couple of years and I would always get so mad and say, yes I will. They aren't like what your friends were.

It is sad how the years separate us.

All I want is to just have my best friends back. :)